The paper work this move requires has been incredible. First, I had reams of paperwork to complete and thousands of telephone calls to make to get my Virginia license.
Then Carilion called to ask for the same material plus 584 more pages to complete for their credentialing. And they called back and wanted a fax number of every place I have ever worked including Internship and Air Force. They have another huge form for me to complete for physical illness and promotion material. And then they sent 18,999 documents for me to sign so they could get the insurance money I make for them.
(Does working for someone take away incentive? ----not for me because I am in this business to help others, but I can see how giving the profits to someone else while you do all the work can be deflating, especially when a lot of unnecessary paperwork is required for each procedure.)
They there are all of the changes in rules and regulations at Carilion and a huge staff and dozens of psychiatrist I will need to monitor and help. I'm afraid the new job will flood me with long, frustrating work with much less pay. When I was younger, I thrived on new challenges. Now I don't know if I have maintained the energy I once possessed.
And most disconcerting, is loss of our church home, our many true, trustworthy, and fun friends, my mother, and Craig, my incredible staff.
I’m developing stress symptoms---I’m not sleeping well. I am losing my temper over insignificant things, not reading my Bible, not praying daily, not reading books, not exercising.
I wished I had invested my money more wisely. If I had taken the advise of just two people and if I had gradually added money to two of the investments they recommended and not sold them prematurely, I would be a multi, multi, multi millionaire so I wouldn’t have to work until I am 70+.
I’m having a pity party when there are billions in the world who are starving and being tortured with each passing minute. And just think--When I get to the pearly gates St. Peter can pull this information off the Internet and show me what an ingrate I have been.
One thing that sustains me is you, Wende, --you are the darling of my heart and a special child of God---loving, loyal, understanding, forgiving, encouraging, consistent, a unique individual to whom God has given the full quotient of 10 talents. And then there is supporting, encouraging, consistent, loyal, and inside-and-out beautiful Vicki who has sustained me through good and bad times. And Lori and Lindsey, sweet little girls, and Greg who is just about becoming my best male friend. And Brad my amazingly talented, ebullient, and funny son...Andrea...Alex.... Annie...my mother...and of course Jesus and the Holy Spirit. When I think of all of you, the paper work and challenges of a new job become a little mosquito.
I will say this, however: After Jesus had been in the desert for 40 days and the Devil had given Jesus 67,125 papers to complete before he could work with God, Jesus may have joined the Devil's team.
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