Learning Lessons

“You lost your arm when you were 17-years old?”

 “Yeh. I put it through the window and it cut an artery. Blood everywhere. Mama sure ‘nuff opened the door then.”

 “You were trying to get into the house?”

 “I got mad when I found out my cousin was a lesbian and mama locked me out.”

 “I heard she locked you out because you were smoking crack.”

 “That might have been part of it.”

 “Anyway you were smoking crack, got mad, put your arm through the window, severed your brachial artery, and they had to amputate?”

 “You got it mostly right only you left out the lesbian part.”

 “Let’s see you are 37-years old now and still smoking crack?” 

“I didn’t use none for over a year, but my roommate locked me out of the apartment and I started using again.” 

“Was your roommate a lesbian?”

 “No man. I learned that lesson.”

MOVING ADVANTAGES

The next morning he got up at 5:30 AM and was on the road to his daughter’s in Ft. Mill. South Carolina. From the parking lot of the Inn at Virginia Tech, it was 181 miles. Interstate all the way. No traffic. Made it in two hours and forty minutes. Took his daughter and two grandchildren to eat at Dunkin Donuts on the way to church where his son-in-law and assistant pastor was waiting. After church to lunch at Zapata’s for Mexican food. The bought some inexpensive American Girl Doll accessories (an oxymoron?) over the Internet. Played Wege or something like that. Borrowed shorts and T-shirt from his son-in-law. Bought some inexpensive on-sale tennis shoes. Used his daughter’s extra racket. Played a set of tennis after a long warm-up, and then drove back to Blacksburg arriving at 9:00 PM. To bed early. Needed to be sharp for an interview with the chairman tomorrow. Yes, it would be nice to be closer to the family.