The trained mind knows that thoughts about events are more powerful than the events themselves. When we learn to shape our thinking, we use our minds to overcome a series of unfortunate events. We can improve our attitude by using the ABCDs of behavior.
Ø A = Activating event—Someone may criticize your tendency to dominate meetings.
Ø B = Belief about the event—You initially believe that the critical person is a jerk. As you reflect on the situation, you conclude that this criticism may be valid. In the past, people have joked about your dominating personality. They have rolled their eyes and looked bored when you talked. You decide the critical person is correct in the assessment.
Ø C = Consequence of the belief—You feel a strong determination to change your behavior while, at the same time, you feel grateful that you have received constructive criticism.
Ø D = Doing—The action you take is based on your belief, not on the activating event. You begin to talk less and listen more.
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