Saying "No"

Many of us have difficulty saying "no." We give, give, give until our time and energy have been consumed, dedicating our selves to martyrdom. Hours are wasted saying "yes" to projects that don't hold our inter¬est.
Wasting time volunteering for activities that are less important than accomplishing our goals causes resentment and irritability. We must say "no" immedi¬ately to projects that interfere with our goals. The soon¬er we get in the habit of managing our time, the quicker we can accomplish the goals that matter. Remember: If we don't control our allotment of time, someone else will.
Most commonly we say "yes" in an attempt to have people like us. We're like puppy dogs wagging our tails at everyone we meet, pleading for them to be our friends.
At other times guilt causes us to say "yes" to pro¬jects that don't help us accomplish our goals. We sigh
deeply and with a droopy face say: "Well, someone has to participate in the project. It might as well be me."

After we've said "yes," we might spend countless hours trying to get out of our commitment. Or we might do a sloppy job on projects that we don't enjoy. This behavior annoys and disappoints others. Saying "no" immediately - and with respect - saves everyone a great deal of frustration.
Is saying "no" to less important projects selfish? Of course not! If our values are correct, conserving time for our goals will eventually help more people than a pro¬ject that fails to fulfill our dreams.
Practice saying "no" with grace. You can learn to let your "no" make the other person feel important. Here are couple of honest ways to say "no" with style:
"Wow! That's a worthwhile project. It doesn't fit into my time schedule right now. I'm honored that you would ask me to participate as a committee member. Thanks for asking. Unfortunately, because of other time pressing commitments, I'll have to decline. No. (Pause for a sec¬ond or two.) I wish you well. Good-bye."
"That project sounds great. I bet you will do well on it. You've got a lot of drive and ambition. Unfortunately, I don't have the talent or commitment to participate. One of the things I've learned through the years is what I can and can't do. My getting involved would be a waste of your time. No. (Pause for a second or two.) Best wishes on your project. Good bye."
When you say "no" with refinement you make the other person feel important. You show respect to the other person. And you treat yourself with respect. You are essentially saying to yourself, "I have dreams and goals. I know the things I want and I'm going after them. "
Remember: It's better to be respected than liked. When others respect you, they will eventually begin to like you for your strength of character.